Indecisive Nature Surrounding My Degree

If any of you know me in person, you will understand I can be one of the most indecisive individuals on the planet – especially when the topic is around food; what to eat, where to eat, how much to eat.

But something I have been flip flopping around for the past 3 years is choosing what to do for my degree. Now I didn’t finish college because I was a lazy ass child – my dad always tells me I’m smart but I don’t use my brain. Which sadly to say is true.

So 3 years ago I decided to start a degree in English Literature. Preparing to purchase all my books and start the pre-course assignments, I thought I was prepared. But then 3 weeks before my course started I decided that I wanted to do Maths instead. The general maths not specialising in anything in particular. So I called up and changed my degree.

I worked through I think 2 modules before having a grand, not really grand more rash, idea to study Business Management specialising in Innovation and Design. I started looking through the beginning sections of of the business side of the degree and then decided. No. Cannot be bothered with this.

So for the last year I’ve been mulling around deciding what I should do for my degree. I recently took the first part of my PBC – it’s a banking qualification for those who aren’t sure what I’m rambling on about – and passed it so decided i would buck up my issues and do something I’ll be good at. Which is maths.

So as of 3 hours ago I am enrolled to study Economics and Mathematical Sciences. This should be interesting. I’ve looked through the course material and it seems really decent so hopefully I enjoy it.

I’m of the mindset that if i don’t enjoy it i wont gt a good grade because my brain just wonders off – the many times during school when I’d start daydreaming about what I was going to watch when i got home and what I was going to eat whilst watching it.

The only reason I have this opportunity to blog today is because i’m laying down in pain in bed. Before anyone asks, no I don’t know what is wrong with me – and I don’t think the doctors do either. I have surplus 7 different tests now and nada. 

‘Who am I and why am I here?’

I thought I would bring this back round to the basics. My blogging life has pretty much been on a standstill since I started my new job – it’s been manic. I’m still in training and every day is a I love my job but I’m scared of messing up. But enough on that.

Whilst reading through the basics of blogging trying to get my mojo back, I stumbled across WordPress’ own ‘Learning the fundamentals of blogging’ course – you would think that owning a blog for the past eight years I would know the fundamentals but I obviously haven’t. So let’s try this and see if I can find that spark I once had.

So who am I? My name is Rachel aka Elizalilysmiles. I am a 20 year old procrastinator and a professional sleeper. I have a fond liking of Asian music and their cultures – I pluralised this because there are so many intricate cultures in the vast continent. But lest we tangent further. I am full of trivial facts about weird thing and yeah. I also really love reading Philosophy and Film (theories and breakdowns of works) books and just general writings around the subjects. They are things I studied at college and although I didn’t continue them further I still have an interest in them. I hate writing about myself because I find it so cringe worthy – No one please hit the archives on this. I know I’m guilty of those random facts about me posts. 2 to be precise. I mean I’d rather you find out about me through reading the things I write rather than me telling you and then you find things that connect to that. I’m making no sense.

I started my first blog 8 years ago on blogger and I was very naive. Like I thought a blog was a place to literally tell strangers about stupid shit I’d done in the day, to which I found out not many people care about you know? Since then I tried to refine my style but found it difficult to pinpoint a specific direction to tailor my blogging to. 2 years ago I decided to move to WordPress. And here we are. Not much has changed, except I no longer write like a moron and I privatised most of my old posts because they were a little embarrassing.

Okay so this is a little jumpy as I’m lost in the brainwaves of what to write but I’ll tell you why am I here. I’m here because I’ve always enjoyed knowing I have a platform to express my opinion on everything. Whether it be my thoughts on a reading, or if I enjoyed a certain anime or manga that was being hyped over by many. Even down to just telling people something amazing you saw or took part in. The possibilities are endless and it’s amazing to be apart of this revolution.

I’m going to end this post now before it becomes overly ramble-y. I will try to blog tomorrow.


Oh. I forgot to add, I got my .blog domain yesterday. I’m so happy and excited its unbelievable. Yeah so that’s all.

The Winter Digest

Considering one of my goals for this year was to blog more, this is quite shameful that this is my second post of the year and we are almost at the end of February. But non the less we shall crack on with this.

Not much has really happened in the past two months but we will discuss the high points. So I finally started my degree on the 1st of February and needless to say it’s going pretty well so far. I’m enjoying the course material and getting along with my assignments fine. (After I post this, I’m going to get dressed and plow through unit 2 in prep to do my first TMA tomorrow and Wednesday.) I think this is a first in my entire educational career that I’ve actually been excited to do work. I mean we can’t really compare my excitement for Film Studies with my excitement for Maths but yeah, I am making no sense again so moving onward.

I started going to the gym with my cousin last month and I’m pumped for some of the classes we have planned to attend. I also met a lovely woman who does personal training at our gym and she’s also a nutritionist, so getting some helpful tips for her was a blessing.

Last night I worked History’s London stop of their tour and it was exciting. I’ve always loved Kpop and their concerts, I have spent collectively on their shows over £400 but I have no regrets. Stage set up was cute and I loved the fact they had a meet and greet after with the lucky ones who could afford VIP. My colleagues are so cute for covering me to watch the show from the back of the room. It was also so amazing to meet some online friends who I haven’t spoken to in years because I left the group we used to chat in. I will always be remembered as the girl whose last name is part of a plant who had Kai as her display picture for a while I guess.

I picked up a lot of manga from our local bookshop the other day and the game Life is Strange. So once i get this assignment out of the way I will get down to completing the remaining 4 episodes of LiS and read my new purchases.

That’s pretty much it for fun things I have done this year so far, but I have planned with some friends to go see Deadpool this Friday so this should be fine.

The new year is soon upon us …

Do you ever just sit there and wish for a do-over? I want a do-over. I want one right now in fact. I want to write down everything that went wrong and go back to the start of this year and make everything better. But that isn’t going to happen. So we have to just keep an open mind for the new year (well not to open because that’s when we become complacent. And when that happens I always, without a doubt, end up broke).

Unlike many new year’s posts you’ll ready, I’m not going to list all the good things, all the bad things, and then a whole bunch of resolutions I probably won’t stick too because life happens. I’m just going to say, if the same shit happens next year that happened this year, I’m fucking screwed, I’ll need counselling, and I will probably become an insane hermit, reading to pass my days. Continue reading “The new year is soon upon us …”

NaBloWriMo: Post 8 – Gamer Tag

Because life gave me the option of opinion and a reminiscent nature. Here we go ^.^

  • What is your all-time favourite video game?

Well it’s a mix between Animal Crossing and Banjo Kazooie. Animal Crossing because it is that game that gets me through long journeys – sitting in a car, just picking weeds, and chopping trees, the usual. Plus it is a very, very relaxing game (unless Resetti-ed). But I lean more towards Banjo Kazooie because it was one of the first games I sat down and played on my own. I know that isn’t much of an achievement nowadays but for me it pushed me mentally to continue gaming. Plus the visuals were pretty.

  • What is your current favourite game?

Currently it is Hyrule Warriors (previously Assassin’s Creed Black Flag). The game-play is just amazing. I mean the switch in plot – playing as the good guys one minute and then boom your playing as Ganon to fill in the narrative gap (which many other games usually show or tell you what happens). I think I’m 2 chapters from the end, but before I complete it, I’m going to go back and play through on easy mode (because I normaled my way to this point in time) to get character upgrades. Also the mere fact that some of my favourite characters appear in the game (Midna – babe, pre and post curse. Lana – melts) with an alternative or spin off past and story from the original series is just genius. Amazing. Look at me rambling, next question.
Continue reading “NaBloWriMo: Post 8 – Gamer Tag”

NaBloWriMo: Post 1 – I’m a bit late but … first post

Admittedly I and now 3 days late to starting this (would have just been 2 but I procrastinated starting this post too long – sigh). But THIS month I’m going to attempt NaBloWriMo (simply because I don’t have the brain capacity at the moment to partake in NaNoWriMo – that and I spend most of my time at the moment working or sleeping)

This should be an interesting task for myself as I lost my blogging mojo recently and hopefully – crosses fingers – this rekindles my passion again.

Before I hit the hay tonight, I’m probably going to type up the next 2 days worth of posts, merely because I’m going to stand-up philosophy tomorrow (well tonight) and probably won’t have the time.


Fanfictions. Somewhat of a guilty pleasure of mine. Over the past few years i have read thousands (and that isn’t an exaggeration). I’ve read good ones, bad ones, well written ones, ones that mutilate and just crap over grammar, long ones, short ones – basically a lot of them. But, there are only a handful of ones that stick with me; ones that pass my mind every now and again and make me go ‘Ah that fic was a good one wasn’t it’ or ‘Nothing can top that fic’. (I know I live quite a mundane life if I sit down and read fics then think about them … don’t judge me)

There was one, very recently, that I read and I have to tell you, it was absolutely amazing. It ticked so many boxes: the plot wasn’t an overkill (it wasn’t jam-packed with 100s of plot twists or radical story sections); it was very well written (I didn’t sit there correcting the grammar in my head); plus I loved the characters and who they were based on (being a fan of B.A.P just made this fic something I could jump onto reading – but don’t let that put you off reading it, I mean you can just replace the characters in your head if it bugs you too much).

It was called ‘Ephemeral’ by Asian FanFiction author Kfanfiction. The reason I’m talking about this fic in particular and not one of the many others i have/am reading, is because it is one of the only stories I have ever read that brought me to tears but left me smiling at the same time. I’m a sap for these things.

If you have the time check it out, I’ll drop the link below, and tell me what you think ^.^ – we simply can’t let talent go unnoticed.

P.S – There were many occasions that I, myself, dabbled in writing fanfiction. I have a lot of time on my hands. I would post them here but they aren’t the most kosher XD

Essays, essays, essays and more short stories

Looking through all my old college work, I realised I wrote some pretty good essays. So tonight and tomorrow I’m going to post some film and philosophy essays I wrote. Then if I can find it, my English lit mock essay which was the best in the class (from what the teacher said – I did think that my fellow classmates wrote of a similar standard to me – twas nothing special about it).

I am going to forewarn you they aren’t amazing essays, they are just my favourite and personal best.

Also I just found a stack of stories I wrote a while back so i shall edit them and let you see them ^.^

Ain’t It Fun

This blog post is happily named ‘Ain’t it fun’ after the Paramore song of the self named 4th album – I have admittedly been re-listening to a lot, and I mean A LOT, of their music over the past few weeks because it simply just fits the mood plus they are and will probably will always be one of my favourite bands alongside The Blackout and Korean boy bands Infinite, BTS and the ORIGINAL SM The Ballad (fuck the new line up – its basically SM The-anyone-who-can-sing-a-few-notes-collab … the original SM The Ballad had soul, grove, charisma and quite frankly could sing the pants off of me and get me into bed – and with their song titled Hot Times it only seemed fitting to say that). But back on subject, I chose this song in particular (fought between this and ‘Hate to See Your Heart Break’ because of … reasons) because when I listen to this it just instantly makes me happy and forget some shit that happens over time … and believe me, recently there has been a lot of shit (which I shan’t bore you with and to be brutally honest I don’t want to talk about it merely because it surprisingly hurts to talk about – only because I feel like so much time and effort attempting to be a nice and decent human being was wasted on someone who just couldn’t be bothered not to make themselves the victim for once …)

But we shan’t dwell. I have some good news anyway. On the 14th of this month (late as always i know but at least it is here now) I got my A level results for this year. Now before the day I wasn’t at all optimistic for these results – I even got to the point of telling my father it can go one of 2 ways; one would be a text saying school meaning i had passed and i continue for my last year before attempting university; or two would be a text saying nun stripper meaning i had failed and i have already decided that becoming a nun stripper was my new career path. But lone behold I pulled through and managed to get a C overall in my English Lit A level, a C in English Language AS and an A in Film Studies AS … fucking shocking right XD