I find you come across two types of commuters on public transport: the nice and the self absorbed privileged.
Let me explain. So type one ‘The Nice’. They are the kind of person who makes space for other commuters and generally has the wellbeing of others before their own. An example of this is a gentleman I saw this morning. His baby was distressed because of the tube and only quietens down when he stood up and bobbed about. Now generally most would have just drowned the sound out but he saw an old lady standing as well. Tackling 2 birds with one stone he stood the rest of his journey which was about 7 more stops, offering his seat to the lady and then proceeding to bob about humming a lullaby to the child. Sweetest sight I’ve seen.
Type two, ‘The Self Absorbed Privileged’ or Privi for short. They are the kind that use seats generally meant for people to sit on, to give home to their copious amount of bags and menial things like rubbish or papers. But when presented with a time when someone would like to use the seat to rest they huff and puff like someone has done them wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming to be a saint as I sometimes do this if the train is empty but I move it when I see large groups of people get on.
I just don’t understand why you would act like a baby about it. If it’s a standard train whereby seats aren’t allocated, you don’t have the privilege of owning seats or reserving them, therefore shouldn’t have an issue with someone wanting to sit on it.
I digress, but this just frustrates me. I spend half my life standing on transport. Not because I can’t sit, just because I have working legs to stand for 5 stops. Plus the hassle of being caved in on a busy train is stressful at 7.30am.
I keep saying I’ll upload my year in review post but I haven’t actually started writing it yet. Good news though! I treated myself to premium! I had some spare cash hanging about and thought why not ^.^ so enjoy ad free reading guys.
Sometimes, I like to consolidate my thoughts together, and realise how much I dislike people.
I mean certain people not everyone. But seriously, for you to air your hatred about me to me (after I was being a civil person by allowing you to stay in my abode whilst everyone else practically shunned you with false claims and lame excuses), you make it your ‘duty’ (to a lesser degree) to appear everywhere on social media, in things I am tagged in, have commented on, to posting in a mutual group seconds after I have posted (even after un-friending me might I just add) is beyond me right now.
I don’t like to deem people as shallow but at this precise moment in time you are really taking to cake.
I also wouldn’t want to wish ill-heath on anyone, but sometimes the thought passes my mind of just maybe you leaving me alone. Forever. Period.
And just before I depart, I would just like to pose this thesis to the floor. Now I personally don’t consider myself to be, what was the phrase again, ahh yes, a ‘manipulative bitch’, merely because I don’t have the care, attention span, or willpower to do anything associated with the position. But however I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do posses the quality, the nature, to get frustrated and somewhat angry, when pushed. And I don’t mean insignificant or small things setting me off into a fit of bitchy anger, but I’m talking about the persistent pestering, constant touching, the ridiculing of my problems because, as you put it, ‘You’re dabbling in first world problems when you talk about how you feel under appreciated, but my problem about my mother refusing to buy me £70 shoes after giving me £300 for the shits and giggles is more important’.
No. Just no.
It’s inevitable to say I am, and quite frankly have been annoyed for coming on 3-4 weeks now because I just CAN’T get to grips with your reasoning for all this. If it’s attention you crave after a whole year of rejection, then I am sorry my dear but the attention you are receiving from me isn’t of admiration and love but more of hate, thus leading me to become void of emotion and care when situations involving you arise in the future.
I know you, the person to whom this is aimed at wont see this because, haha, you removed any evidence of me being any part of your life.
Your love, supervacaneus. My dislike to you, indomitus. Your attempts to upset me, indignus.
I was going to post a few days ago but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So yeah these past few weeks, like the past 3 maybe even a month, have been strange. I mean I’m not one to get sentimental but I’m finding it hard not to be with all this shit happening. (I’ve become way to laxed on my blogging. I have procrastinated this post for so long, that at 3.30am on the 26th July 2014, I have decided I need to upload this and stop being a dick) We may as well catch up on the proceedings of the past months *clears throat, cracks thumbs and ankles* It’s go time:
So first things first, my 18th was on the 5th of April … I have reached maturity *round of applause and cheering* (lol joke no XD my ass, mature, please). That night was the epitome of stressful. I had one drink, a bouncy castle, 63 guests (at least 7 of which I didn’t know or invite), 6 people puking, a once brown now black floor, an inflatable penis named Pedro, a cactus, hundreds of bottles and cans everywhere, a headache and constant arguments. Note to self, never throw a party again … even though it was really awesome seeing (legitly) everyone in my humble abode.
Ummm, on Monday 7th April, I cried for 2 hours and bit at Autumn’s house, all because she wouldn’t let me climb out the window. I know it sounds like a reasonable response but I really, really wanted to climb out of it, plus it wasn’t to far off the ground. But then again, legit 20 mins after I stopped crying I did dewedgie myself so hard I almost fell out of said window.We then went into college on our time off to do some art and then went to Wetherspoons for cocktails and chocolate cake … so damn tasty <3 (side note – I do think I was crying for an actual reason and not just the inability of window jumping, but that reason evades me at this given time as it did take place over 2 months ago XD – stress)
Subira and myself went to a rugby party on the Sunday/Monday before college restarted. I got, as they say of Geordie Shore, completely mortal. You know the kind of place whereby you don’t pass out or puke, but you do ‘things’ you shouldn’t necessarily and don’t normally do. This list includes dancing (merely because I don’t usually dance, and even when I do it is completely kosher). I also partook in activities we shan’t divulge that information on the inter-web simply because I just can’t be bothered to type them. I mean it was a lot of fun, I’m not gonna lie.
Over the past 3 weeks, my friends and I have been hosting ‘dinner parties’. I say dinner parties, its merely a quick meal and then lots and lots of drinking (I’m not proud to admit but on the first night I got so drunk by drinking through straw glasses – got through a whole bottle of red on my own. And then on the second night I brought this mysterious Jewish alcohol, the label completely in Hebrew left us ambiguous but after translating it we figured out it was meant to be brandy. But it tasted more like vodka and burned like tequila or sambuca, well basically paint stripper. After polishing of a quarter of the bottle with Lela, I ventured out to meet an online friend of mine. It’s not the smartest idea when you can’t walk straight and it is 2am. But I am still alive so yeah he wasn’t a deranged psycho killer.)
Operation Tropic Thunder is complete (it is such a vague but fucking immense milestone in my life, BUT just like the rugby party, all details shall be withheld, mwuhaha)
I broke my streak. Now this to me is a very serious and sad thing, because I had kept that streak for my entire life, albeit between the ages of 0 to about 11 (maybe even to 13 because my childhood never depended on rebelling to be fun) excessive drinking wasn’t in my forte. But on the 18th of this month (being July), I vomited whilst intoxicated. Was not fun. Do not want to do it again. I have learnt my lesson. I don’t even like wine, well wine in excessive quantities – I mean a whole bottle of red and half of rose is quite an achievement but seriously, the taste isn’t one I like to acquaint myself with often.
Attached to the above is also the note that I realised that i shouldn’t attempt to make homemade pizza whilst drunk too. i mean the dough and the taste was fine, but the idea of fully decorating the pizza with an array of toppings before we had even transferred the dough to an appropriate tray, left it looking a tad rough (actually a lot rough).
My book collection is ever growing, which is always a great thing XD
I have actually started my summer homework for college. The fuck is wrong with me (no one dare point out that I am blogging in the stupid hours of the morning which should usually be cherished by the view of the back of your eyelids, dreaming shit that will probably never happen – like I’ll never be some hot spice, with long luscious hair, who is multilingual (in Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Spanish, French, Russian and German), who just so happens to be married to said performer Mark Tuan *cough* Got7 feels are so apparent right now but we shan’t tangent too much *cough*
Finally changed my room around, like literally I got a smaller wardrobe, new chest of drawers, moved the bed, and have some snazzy new storage. (oh yeah living the high life … now all I need to do is paint the wall)
And the last thing which I think is very important to have happened in the last few months is that I’m actually saving up money (that and I have decided that I will go to university but I’ll take a gap year, maybe become an Au pair in china for 6 month or travel the world, who knows). The only reason I find this important is that if you have been following this blog since the beginning or maybe even middle bits (honestly I don’t know who would but if you have I high 5 you and applaud you a lot *does aforementioned*) you will know that I do struggle, a lot, with saving money. Simply because I think of the short term rather than the long term. A life example of this, and a very recent one, when I am at home hungry but too lazy to cook, instead of motivating myself to get up and grab a snack, I’ll order Chinese because its Chinese and I was probably craving. Even though after I have eaten I will realise that the £10 I just spent on those delicious noodles and rice with an array of tasty meats, will no longer be the only money in my tattoo fund, and now that’s back on my bank statements as a solemn ‘Nil’
But any-who, it’s finally finished. Needless to say I am proud i have finally finished this post that probably no one cares about or will even view but still proud.
Just to end on quite an annoyed note, I will never understand why someone would blatantly ignore me, and then complain to a mutual friend that I am not talking to her. I’m ever so sorry if someone (especially your parents during those precious years sociologists define as the years or stage you gain ‘primary socialisation’ – I merely place that in because that is what she studies at college – trivial, trivial points) didn’t tell you that conversation, is a two-way thing (or more than two if we’re going to be shallow and pedantic). I’m not going to sit around and message you all the time if I don’t have anything of great interest to say, neither am I going to chase you up to reply to me (when I even went to the special lengths of a well thought of birthday text message to which you ignored …). I am simply going to move on in life and not give two flying shits about your measly life. Also I am severely offended that you invite your ‘ex’ boyfriend to your birthday party (the same one who dumped you twice) and not me, and when questioned about my absence you claim I said ‘I was too busy to come’. Fabulous. Absolutely, fabulous.
Well I should seriously sleep now, because by the time I have added tags and all that shizz it will be 4.15am GMT *cries*
In light of recent news, the Woolwich murder, i am blogging. Now i can understand the anger people feel towards what happened but it doesn’t give you the god given right to spout such nonsense, such racist and such inappropriate words on the internet. The acts of a few individual does not mean you can call for fucking genocide you ignorant people … in what world does that even come into it. You would think after historic examples you would see that genocide does not answer any problems *cough*Hitler and the holocaust*cough* (i use this as an example because due to my heritage and education, it really helps in this understanding … to which obviously people are lacking in – and also its the easiest example to give, that or the Genocide in Congo)
Adding to which id like to understand your thought process … 2 individuals (not accounting race or religion) + murder of army serviceman = genocide of entire race/religion … in logical terms you would think the formula would acc state 2 individuals + murder of army serviceman < genocide … ceasing your argument invalid … and anyways the premises and your conclusion aren't even plausible meaning you yourself … have created and argued an UNSOUND argument.
(its sounds like people were to assume i am trying to be a smart arse but its just common logic people … don’t say shit if your not willing to be told how stupid you are)
Imma explain this in a philosophical styled argument because this is what exams do to me
So your statement is ‘We should ‘kill’ all Muslims because of those 2 individuals who murdered the army service man’
1) this statement would assume that you know the concepts of being Muslim. It sounds stupid but being a certain religion does not mean you are a specific race … a lot of people are targeting Pakistani people …
Intermediate conclusion : one were to assume the concepts of being Muslim in order for this argument to be valid
2) In Kant’s thesis to morality (loosely explained btw) we are to assume a place in society of following duty, this duty is based around a categorical imperative, this is a duty you believe everyone must follow, this will entale you being a rational person, being irrational means you disagree with yourself (which you shouldn’t if you are arguing for duties you think everyone should do … e.g. do not murder yet you murder someone). so bringing this back to the statement, if you disagree with the actions of these men, then you morally believe in the idea of ‘not murdering people’. Now this is where this get interesting, if you believe that Genocide should be brought then you would be acting against your morals (against it so much so you may aswell have taken your moral, run it over, spat on its theoretical body, then buried it in a shallow grave so that in a few days you could repeat the process) … this would mean you that you are going against your duty making you irrational.
3) if you continue the idea of duty, perfect duties trump imperfect duties … perfect duties are duties that have not emotional connection or inclination, and imperfect duties are duties which you are emotionally or personally inclined to do … therefore yeah committing genocide is an imperfect duty as this duty is done out of anger, an emotional inclination
Intermediate conclusion : this statement would only be valid if you ignored to assumptions of morality and rationality
THEREFORE : this statement is invalid and unsound as its premises ignore the assumptions of morality which therefore lead us to being rational beings.
NOW THAT … was like mental exercise which may have confused you but you catch my drift … people who wish genocide are dumb and L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N people … i know its sad, a waste of a life, and to the government a ‘terrorist attack’ but in the current society we live in murders happen to often, yet people don’t call for this, so please just stfu with your racism, your dumbass ideas of the perfect world, and immigration you bellends … your existence irritates me to a point where i could slap a kid in the face with a fish
Well XD … when i first originally intended on writing this blog post it was 12.10am on Tuesday and it was gonna ask if it was too late to blog but … meh that idea went out the window but now today is Christmas and we must blog because it is on my to do list … ~(need one of those to make sure i get everything done) okay so we have a small check list to blog everything i wanna talk about *insert cool face* am organised. ———————————————————————————————— well its now like 6 hours later and i have lost the list and now i don’t know what to blog T___T ———————————————————————————————— and now you can see from this …. ! …. point on-wards it is now the 27th … 2 days after i started attempting to continue writing this. its hard finding the motivation to write when your whole family is over … you wanna get the balance just right from being tooo involved to being antisocial at this festive period … so i decided to hold off with writing till i had some proper space and peace and quiet so here goes … i have made another mental list about what to blog about so this post may be a bit jumpy at times switching between topics XD
okay so the first thing I’m going to talk about isss … well recently, well i say recently but i mean like last month or two we recorded some videos for our youtube, but they only went so far, we planned to do more but we could never quite get it done …. we’d either start and never finish … or plan to start and fail completely because we would get distracted … but hopefully we should do some more in the new year and I’m thinking about doing a compilation video of the clips and pictures we took from the task/challenge birthday thing … i mean it was a pivotal thing this year because i then realised how much I’m privileged to have made new and fun college friends 🙂 *soppy moment over*
ummm this is difficult to think about sooo next we could talk about the yearly recap – like anything interesting acc happened for me to bore you all with but we shall start …
– Gigs – I’m not going to list them all again because in the past 2 or 3 posts i have mentioned/reviewed/spazzed about the gigs i have been to or am going to XD but i must say … the highlight gig of this year has to be Big Bang … i went to it on the 15th and OH MY CHOPSTICKS IT WAS …. FUCKING AMAZING … i mean …. pivotal moment of my life … simply because its not every gig … the fans sing the song for the band and the band gets emotional … everything about this gig was amazing …. (except for those morons complaining about standing … as i said in my tweet that time there are always going to be idiots who cant control their ‘feels’ and ‘actions’ at the time … and I’m sorry but when you purchase a standing gig ticket … its unwritten rules that your technically signing a contract saying your fucked basically … shits always gonna get abit violent … i mean come on i was dragged into a mosh pit at a bombay bicycle club gig … BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB … i mean you couldn’t get more mellow than them … well you could but I’m not going to evaluate this further … and i mean seriously guys … constant statuses complaining about ‘ahhh I’m so angry my friend got hurt’ or ‘you make us seem like bad fans’ … you can cram ’em up you ass because they ain’t gonna change their ways … your just wasting energy … i mean you act as if this is the first gig to ever have some mental moshing or semi violence … i mean go to a fucking rock gig … i was concrete pillared and i lost my phone and i was crushed but I’m not making constant statuses saying that i got hurt and all that mambo *insert Nillili Mambo by Block B* … its stupid … and anyways … whats a gig without some violence and pain 😉 ) … – longest motherfucking bracket comment ever but it needed to be said …
– its going to be abysmal trying to remember what i done at the start of this year but i have to say a highlight of this year was getting my GCSE results and graduating from Gladesmore …. not gonna lie i really miss Gladesmore and all my friends there 🙁 i mean 5 years with the same faces its gonna be hard to forget them …. well most of them … some of them can go live in that small bubble their pea-sized mind has created whereby they are ALWAYS the victim to everything and everything ever done has been done to spite them … i mean its not like Ive spent about 10 years of my life around you … being a friend for you to shove it in my friend telling #me what i think i am to others … and FYI i don’t think I’m perfect or amazing but i sure as shit ain’t a bully to you … who has the time to bully you … a girl so wrapped up in bubble wrap from her family that if i were to try and hurt you physically … mentally or emotionally it would probably do jack shit to you … so enjoy life my wonderful darling and just remember … hehe … when you send me threatening and rude messages over the Internet when i ask you a simple yet quite frank question … think … is that not bullying and and also think … do i acc care … like really … honestly …. 🙂
(i apologise for that outburst but tbh its been annoying me)
– The wall of Kerrang! has been demolished but Ive kept the covers 😀 … i mean i loved that wall … showed how sad i was but i mean … if its any consolation … my wall is full of Asians now … with the nipples up *thumbs up* … s’all goooood and anyways … everyone was scared (well except for me … i found it quite comforting) to come and sleep in my room because clowny from slipknot was smiling at them *laughs sadistically*
– starting college is another thing that’s like a highlight … i mean … Ive met some awesome people … bee invited to awesome parties … you know … the casual things XD
– its not really a highlight but i guess its something i wont be forgetting anytime soon … but i went ice skating on Christmas eve with my best friend and my eonnies … doesn’t seem like much but it was a special Christmas eve … anyone who has read my earlier posts with understand why … (tag name in the post about my friends … he is ‘the boy’ XD … i mean yeah i know jack shit is gonna happen between us … but I’m glad he is my best friend … (p.s. thanks for the money ;))
I’m not sure what else is a highlight that i haven’t mentioned before but i think I’m gonna go through some new years resolutions … get the rest of this year our of the way … because i know i will forget to blog so heres goes … making a list ill probably never complete:
– Put the bottle down … and walk away … *places beer down* *sulks* … i know its quite radical reading a 16 year old with this resolution … but i don’t have a drinking problem … well to my knowledge … but its like … parties and occasions … take the lighter drinking option … plus i made a bet that if i stayed sober till summer they will give me £100 so like B)
– quit chocolate … for all of you (hopefully) reading … wont exactly know the type of chocolate i mean … its not the edible stuff but its code … that we’ve used since year 9/10 … but yeah if you know what it was you would be proud that i want to quit … plus i wont be spending most of my lunch money on it every week XD …
– exercise more … like yeah i love my body XD … but like it’d be cool to lose some weight and show some biatches I’m not just a chubby bunny XD i mean its not like i don’t have anything to exercise with … its just can i be bothered … well I’m saving up for some ice skates … seeing as my college is like 5 minutes from ally pally … so a bus up when i finish college early wont harm
– READ READ READ READ …. *pauses for breath* READDDDD !! … i said this last year but yeah continuation resolution … i mean i love reading if the book grabs me but i have to persevere instead of quitting when i lose interest … like right now for the 7th of January … i meant to have read and started annotating ‘The Kite Runner’ by Khaled Hossein … but I’m … about 1 chapter in and I’m finding excuses to put the book down … T___T college is so tough
– Annyonghaesyo, Cho nun Rachel imnida <3 …. JUGULLE !!! JUGULLE !!!! O.o … i kid i kid … I'm not to sure if i romanized that correctly but ohhhwelll … i want to continue learning the wonderful language which is Korean … its acc really fun … in comparison to learning a language at school … because i have my eonnies at college who help me with it and i have a few pen pals who all teach me 😀 … B)
– … Jump on to job seekers allowance 😀 … *shy and scared giggle* … i kid but i gotta get me a job … needing some funds if i wanna be able to by my best friend a gift in return for everything … and to pay for all my gigs I’m going too (OMG OMG OMG TAKING HAYLEY GIG IN FEBRUARY WITH VIP TICKETS … I GET TO MEET THEM AND TAKE PICTURES WITH THEM AND TALK TO THEM AND LOOOOOVE THEM) *coughs and scolds self for that outburst* hehehe 😀
– write down the list of bucket … Ive had these thoughts on what i want to write on the list but the time escapes me to acc write them down … i mean yeahh … self explanatory 😀
i think those are my resolutions … many brought forward but meh i can bore you with my up and coming gig timetable 😀 :
– January 25th – The Blackout Start The Party Tour ~<3 – February 19th – Taking Hayley VIP gig <3 …. – April 3rd – Biffy Clyroo <3 – April 27th – Two Door Cinema Club (birthday party gift mwehehe)
and more … especially if Teen-fricking-Top are coming … like i will legit … cry if i can see my Chunji … Changjo … C.A.P … and L.Joe … oh ghad !! i will cry … cry cry cry cry cry XD#
okay … I’m calm now … and to finish off … just a few of my pics taken from my insatgram (elizalilysmiles … check it peeps)
My Tartan Snood 😀 …. Snoody Snoody Snooooood
My Conceptual Sombrero … i took this at college when we dressed up for my tutor’s birthday … i of-course was Mexican and sported a wonderful eyeliner moustache
This PIVOTAL moment … when the spelt Kai right … i mean yeah it isn’t my name but Ive been waiting for this moment … hehehe
Money and Vodka for Christmas … my family is tooo much
This is the earth … I’ve been waiting for since summer … my best friend kept forgetting it … but FINALLY i got it … has now got pride and place on my table <3
Meeee … small selca before we went ice skating … hehe … my eye make up was done by the wonderful Subiraa <3 … this girl does wonders with a eyeliner pencil
Showed Subira him during the week … i quote exactly when she says ‘the blackest Asian she has ever heard’ … his songs have such meaning <3 … i loooove 'Are We There Yet', 'Cool and Calm' and 'Cell Phone'
Cheap Shots … 50p a tube … some were tasty … others … were taste bud killers XD
My morning music … and i have to say college was fun when a group of us were just drooling over the calender in it <3 … he is just so … nyahhh …. A FOR MY PANDA NAILS … which you cant see … only the A XD
this years gig tickets … minus a few <3 … best year <3
Meee out on a fake date with my eonnie Elgiva … i wonder if it was my face paint of my ridiculously short shorts that made everybody stare … imma go with the shorts 😉
Meee … today … just before blogging … it has taken me … in total … 6 fricking days to write this so … ACHIEVEMENT FOR FINISHING !!! *dances*
WELL I’M DONE … HOPE YOU HAD A MERRY CHRISTMAS … and a WONDERFUL … NEW … YEAR … Love your Local Christmas Elf Elizalilysmiles 😉 *shhhhhhhh* <3
(p.s. My grammar … is atrocious … GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY)