Self-love

Sometimes, the days really just gush past you and you’re left feeling numb to everything around you. Self-love and self-care is quite a difficult thing to comprehend if you think about it – Being there for someone, showing them affection and investing time in them, is a lot easier than having love and understanding for yourself.

I think I need to take a little time to understand who I am and what I want as a person. I’ve been lacking in the self-love department for some time and I think I need to work on that. It’s gotten to the point when people ask me how life is or how I am, I think for a solid minute and even then my answer is ‘A bit crap to be honest’.

We shall see. I’ve made some decisions recently and we will see where they takes us.

I should probably go to sleep considering I have to be up 6 hours.

Eli

To review or not to review?

As of today, 20th May, I have reached and surpassed the ’20 book’ mark in my My Goals 17/18. I feel like I would have made it to here three months ago but I have a very short attention span, so I fall into phases of almost aggressive reading, then to not even glancing at a book.

So with all achievements and things considered, I feel like I could try my hand at ‘attempting’ to write a book review. I key the word attempting in that way because, let’s be honest, I haven’t been the best at coming up with plans for this blog and actually sticking to them. I have 10 drafts saved and they are just post titles with one note in them, and I don’t really know how to continue with them. I think I will be good at this – I’m extremely opinionated and I read a variety of genres, so I probably could cover something for everyone.

A few disclaimers: I’m no review expert; they won’t be excessively lengthy; and they will be honest without spoilers.

I’ll consider it. I don’t even think this post makes sense – the heat must be getting to me. I guess I will just end this here before I embarras myself anymore.

Eli

Spoken or visual?

Lately, I’ve been thinking about reviving and rejuvenating, to a degree, this space. I want to add a spoken or visual element. I did in my younger days experiment with being a YouTuber. However, in my honest opinion, it didn’t go too great. Our videos were much to be desired and very childish – but I liked our efforts. I will give us that. It was cute while it lasted but hell if I remembered the passwords to those accounts, those videos would just disappear.

Continue reading

Falling to the inevitable

So I’ve been MIA for quite some time, and there are a plethora of excuses – for one I don’t have a laptop at the moment, it’s on-lend to my cousin. But the main reason is I just don’t have much motivation. I’ve placed all my efforts into my job and my work, that by the time I come home I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep. I’ve been very hesitant about going out in a social context – if the person I’m meeting doesn’t cancel on me first, then by the time I’m supposed to leave mine to meet them I feel really drained and anxious about going. I know I’m a shit friend, but that’s beside the point. Continue reading

Happy New Year!

I’ve been a tad MIA – I say a tad, but it’s almost 2 weeks into the new year and this is my first post, but who’s keeping tabs.

2017 became my 3rd yeard blogging on this platform, so I decided to collate some figures in regards to my year on WordPress, and I was pleasantly surprised. Over the year, this blog received a total of 649 views from and 134 likes, 378 visitors in 35 countries.

I’m proud to be honest. Last year I upped my game when it came to blogging. I tried to put a lot more effort into my blog, I attempted new things and new features. Some worked, and some fizzled out, but in all, it was an eye-opening experience.

I won’t make this a long post – I’m currently in my bed suffering from my second cold this month and I’m feeling a bit shit. I’ll probably spend the rest of the day procrastinating revision even though I have 2 assignments due this month. But lest we digress.

I’ll schedule the first Mellow Monday for the year and start typing up a few ideas to make sure this year of blogging is even better than the last!

*disappears*

Thoughts

I was in the process of writing my Mellow Monday piece last night when I found out some troubling and sad news. Jonghyun from KPop band SHINee had died.

I won’t make this a post about how I feel and how sad I am because that becomes obsolete in the grand scheme of things. His family and brothers are mourning.

I wanted to touch on something I feel is important.

Depression, amongst other non visible illnesses, is as I said an illness. It isn’t something people can switch on an off. It isn’t a party trick or something you can contract. It is a serious condition in which many people fall victim too. There isn’t a store bought cure.

Anyone can have depression, the richest of men to the poorest. It has no target. Everyone is susceptible.

We should never play down someone’s illness. Just because it isn’t a physical blemish or easily noticeable. It does not mean it doesn’t exist.

It comes in variant shapes, sizes and has different ways of latching on.

We should all take a moment to think about who or what makes us proud. It can be a relative, a friend, someone you work with, even your favourite singer or actor.

Never expect someone to know that you are proud of them. Take the time to show praise and love where it is due.

Fame and money does not leave you free from this horrible illness.

Out of respect I will not divulge details regarding his death. But I will note something.

Jonghyun, I know that overtime I grew apart from you, your group and the music you all produced. But that never meant I was not proud, as a fan, of your achievements. You were my first bias, the first vocalist I could pick out from a song because your voice was so unique. I remember watching Hello Baby and seeing how humble and just incredible you were.

May you rest in eternal peace and know we are all very proud of you now and forever.

I won’t be posting until the new year now.

Please read what I said and absorb it’s meaning. If you find this post and need someone to talk to my doors are always open to anyone.

Eli.

Life Update

So, this is a long overdue post haha. I’m really sorry for the unannounced hiatus; I was meaning to do some things but the time flew past me too quickly for my liking.

So my last post had a small mention of my upcoming holiday – first in 11 years. And I have to admit Barcelona is such an amazing place to visit. So much art and history. Just a generally beautiful city. I thank thee for that amazing coffee and tortilla sandwich which was life changing. Fun fact, my last holiday abroad was to Spain with my school. It’s not really fun but you know.

I’m in the process of finishing my second written assignment for my degree. I’ve left it so close to the wire, I’m somewhat disappointed in myself for it but what can you do. It’s due Tuesday haha. All that’s left to do is rewrite it neater and boom all done.

Tomorrow after I submit my assignment I will upload a Mellow Monday. It’s been a long time coming so stay tuned.